Have you ever been taken aback by a topless waitress at a restaurant or café? Was she seductive, attractive, friendly, and flirtatious? Maybe she was interested in you? It’s never a good idea to summon a server since it complicates what should be a straightforward business interaction. How can you determine whether she’s like this with all of her clients? If you decide to ask a server out, make an effort to be a gentleman – polite, discreet, and courteous – and, most importantly, don’t be a creep.

Subtly flirt.

Topless waitresses deal with forward males once a month, once a week, and occasionally once a shift. If you approach her with too much zeal, boldness, or aggression, she may raise her defenses before you’ve even made a move. “He’s just another one of THOSE people,” she may think to herself. As a result, your mission will be doomed.

• A jerk will remark something like, “Hey, when does your shift end?” This is not just a terrible remark, but it also implies that you will be waiting for her at the end of the night.
• Don’t be too obvious, and don’t be creepy at the same time. Instead, start a conversation with her by saying something like, “This is my first time here.” Are Tuesdays usually that hectic for you?”

Be courteous.

You should act like a gentleman and be on your best behavior, just like you would when flirting. Make it clear that you are not a creep, but rather someone who is kind, courteous, and considerate. Use the same politeness trappings that you do in other social situations.

• Use the words “please” and “thank you.” Even if you are served by a topless waitress, she is still a person who deserves to be treated as such. This is simply common courtesy. Do not call her sweetie or any other nickname. It’s condescending. Also, don’t look at her. Even if she is extremely attractive, you will most likely make her uncomfortable.
• Make an effort not to complain about the restaurant. Your topless waitress did not design the menu, set the pricing, or decorate the establishment. She also has no say in how packed the restaurant is. Complaining will just annoy her.
• You may, however, try to empathize with her. For example, if the restaurant is busy, you may show your support by stating, “It’s extremely packed tonight.” They should give you more help with the tables.”

Order what she suggests.

Your topless waitress is a menu specialist who knows it like the back of her hand. She recognizes what is good, what is average, and what is thrown away. Inquire about her recommendations. She’ll notice and point you in the direction of a great meal. Don’t, on the other hand, order something off the menu or ask her to make changes; this shows a lack of trust and transfers the conversation to her. This complicates her task and will only irritate her.

Discuss anything other than food.

She’d spent the entire day discussing food. Change the topic to something more interesting, whether it’s about you or her. Make an attempt to appear really intriguing.

• There will be no protracted debates over who the restaurant’s meat supplier is or how much the company pays for wholesale vodka.
• Make a few comments about yourself, or at the very least suggest it. Topless servers are often approached, and while they are typically nice, they will most likely decline if they don’t know you well.
• Change the conversation to her at the same time. When you only talk about yourself, it’s easy to come out as self-absorbed. People that are empathetic inquire about others and listen to them.

Tip generously.

Remember that tips contribute for around 85 percent of a topless waitress‘ total pay. Tipping is not only polite, but it also conveys that you are well-mannered, self-assured, kind, and engaged.

• Tip as much as you can, but don’t be too generous. You will create a better impression if you err on the side of charity. You may recall when 15% was deemed acceptable for decent service. Those days have passed us by. In today’s environment, the typical tip is closer to 20%. Aim for a percentage of 20 percent or perhaps 25 percent for the best results.

Don’t take up all of her time.

Keep in mind that your topless waitress is only trying to make ends meet. She has other tables to serve as well as other responsibilities. You’ll quickly anger her if you try to get her attention too frequently.

• Keep in mind that she could be really busy. It’s even courteous to acknowledge it, as in “I don’t want to keep you here chatting for too long,” since “I understand you have a lot of work ahead of you!”
• Keep in mind that if you dominate her time, she may suffer repercussions from her superiors.

Keep sexual advances to a minimum.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, can sink your efforts to catch the interest of your topless waitress like aggressive or insulting tactics. Remember to always put your best foot forward and to be respectful.

• You’re not at a bar or a frat house; you’re in a restaurant. 
• Touching or making unwanted advances is never acceptable. This applies to all women, not just your topless waitress. There will be no sexual remarks, gestures, or chit-chat. Alcohol might cause you to lose your inhibitions and say things you’ll later come to regret. If you’ve had too much to drink, don’t continue flirting; if she tells you to stop, stop.

Please don’t overstay your welcome.

Your first thought could be that if you wait till she finishes her shift, the topless waitress will have more time and will be more willing to accept a date. This is an erroneous initial impression. Instead, it looks to be frightening. When it’s time to go, know when to choose your stance.

• Your waiter is unlikely to want to join you for a cup of coffee immediately following her shift. She is most likely eager to get home. You’d be better off simply asking her, making your move, and going about your business.
• If the topless waitress thinks you’re interested, your extended presence will be a big distraction and source of aggravation for her.

Don’t always ask the first time.

You don’t have to act on your first instinct if you’ve established a pleasant conversation with your topless waitress and feel a connection with her. Please be patient. If the restaurant is close by, try popping in from time to time.

• Create a spirit of mutual respect.
• While being a regular is OK, avoid going to the restaurant too regularly lest you appear to be stalking her. She may be put off if you dine at the same table every time and always grin at her.